It's Not You! - What Does It Mean?

Have you ever ruminated on the following?

"How did I get here?"

"What did I do wrong?"

"Could I have done anything to prevent this from happening?"

"If only I knew, I would have been safer"

Sometimes, the rumination is so intense that you are crippled and unable to make decisions or see clearly.

Some days, your thoughts spiralled out of control so much that you feel so helpless and angry.

I get that.

I have experienced every bit of those moments.

Let me tell you something.

"It's not you!".

There's nothing you could have done differently to change the way the narcissistic person has treated you.

Because, it's not you that they are having a conversation with or having a relationship with.

It's a snap shot of you and everything that they ever do or say takes place in their fantasy with a snapshot of you that they have created in their head.

When they say, "you are useless", they are saying it to the snapshot in their fantasy.

That's why the phrase "it's not you" is factual.

I am not saying that to make you feel good or help you feel less painful.

It's facts!

Here's the next step for you to be curious about.

Even though, their interaction is not with you, you have been made to live in their fantasy for a prolonged period of time.

So, your trauma is in your body.

That is not a part of the narcist's fantasy.

Your trauma is real for you.

That's why healing is both a choice and a responsibility only you can take.

You are an object in someone else's fantasy experiencing trauma in your body.

Content about narcissism may help you self-soothe because it helps you make sense of your experience.

But, it doesn't help you heal.

I hope this helps.

Do you have any questions. Please hit reply to this email and ask me.

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